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Dear Baby,
All of my life I wanted to be a mommy. About 4 years ago it was confirmed by my doctor that it was not to be. Both of my tubes were blocked having my ovaries grown over them. Dye was shot down both sides and nothing came through. The doctor told me that the only way I could get pregnant was to go through
in-vitro or adopt. In December of 2004 I began feeling very sick each day and so very tired. I figured I had nothing to lose and bought a
pregnancy test.. My dreams were about to come true. The test came out positive! I called the doctor immediately as I was not sure whether to be happy or scared. You see I was pregnant at the age of 21 only to lose it in my tubes. Now at 34 years old there may be a glimmer of hope! The doctor ordered an ultrasound to confirm it was not an ectopic pregnancy. I called your grandmother in a frantic mess as I was so confused as what was happening. I thought surely this was a mistake or a false positive, after all the doctor said you were not to be. I immediately called to your daddy and we went to the hospital for the ultrasound. I cried the whole way over as all I could think was that this was not happening, how could I be so lucky?
Well my dear child, we got to the hospital and up to radiology we went. Your daddy assuring me the whole way that everything was going to be just fine. As we entered the dim ultrasound room we were met by a very nice lady who explained how this procedure worked. She told me that when the doctor had called her and told her the situation she just started praying hoping for a miracle. We began the ultrasound process and she informed me that she could not tell me anything really, but that if she heard a heartbeat she would let me know. As the doppler started to scan my uterus, I could see a small little thing inside. The whole time I am just crying in disbelief that this is even happening! Well, she reached over and turned the volume up and I heard what I thought was a heartbeat. I looked at her and she at me with tears in both of our eyes and said "Merry Christmas Mommy!". My dear child you will never in your lifetime understand the depth of those words on that very day. It will forever change the rest of my life. Your father jumped up and came to the screen and looked at you, listening to your heartbeat, 120 beats per minute, with big tears in his eyes. He sat back down and I asked him if he was ok and he said "Yes, I am going to be a daddy!".
You are the miracle that I have always hoped for. Five days before Christmas, 2004, God sent me the best gift ever, you...
Love,
Mommy |
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